The Pakistani Mafia (Barcelona, 2013)

Traveling: I’m slowly going through the stages of getting inured to being the only brown person that people have ever seen in real life. (First it was funny, like a Russell Peters skit, then it was surprise, then came the denial, then being jaded, then back to everything seeming like a Russell Peters skit).

Imagine my surprise when the people most surprised to talk to me in Barcelona (a civilized design city, and pillar of western Europe) were the henchman serving the Pakistani Mafia. This isn’t some big deal — they’re all over the place in Barca, especially on the street Las Ramblas where even though the government has banned the sale of alcohol after 11pm, a bunch of brown dudes stick red beer cans in your face every 5 steps.

It’s hard to reach into the dredges of my drunken memories, but I found out some interesting tidbits.

  1. THERE ARE A FUCK LOAD OF PAKISTANIS in Barcelona. Out of the fuck loads, like all of them are in some way affiliated with the Pakistani Mafia.
  2. They sell all the street drugs. In my conversations with Khaled, an enterprising young gentlemen outside the Razz Ma Tazz club, I learned that he could hook me up with cocaine, MDMA, ecstasy, and other unnamed mumbo jumbo. Oh and because I was brown and spoke two words of Hindi he’d throw in some stuff for free.
  3. Don’t buy drugs from the street Pakistani mafia vendors. Apparently they suck.
  4. It’s really common for young Pakistanis to come over to Barca and other countries near Iberia. They have a huge operation.
  5. Apparently the government doesn’t give a fuck, because well ILLEGAL shit.

Haoran has a video of a drunk me exchanging life stories with a Pakistani mafioso, I’ll see if I can dig it up.


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